What bothers me is the absolute language used by those upset by the use of "predator". One commenter, Alan Wardle of the NSPCC, a children's protection charity, said "a 13-year-old child cannot be complicit in her own abuse", a statement I would like to take issue with. I think a 13 year old is perfectly able to be complicit, according to the definition of the word from dictionary.com: "choosing to be involved in an illegal or questionable act, especially with others; having complicity".
My point is that, according to his very absolute statement, Mr Wardle is suggesting that it is impossible that the girl, for whatever reason, might have gone after the man. Though we don't have access to the court records, there is evidence in many media sources that the girl at least initiated the contact, if not desired its final outcome. She was sexually experienced, and knew what she was getting into, up to a point.
My point here is not to excuse the actions of the abuser in this case - as I've already said on this blog, although I write about situations such as these in my erotic literature, I don't agree with them in the real world. No, my issue is instead with those who would colour the world black and white. It's not so much that I want there to be creep in our society's position on sexual abuse just because kids like sex, but rather that any sort of sensible dialogue is impossible when such an attitude is taken.
Sensible, reasoned dialogue is important because without it we risk the real possibility that we might bury our heads in the sand on some extremely important issues. We can't speak in absolute terms because real life is never that polarised, and nor are the issues around child sexuality. Saying that a child is incapable of understanding what they are getting into when they climb into bed with another child or an adult means that by the same logic we either educate them, and risk them getting bored with our patronising attitude, or we don't educate them, and place the unaware fraction of them in greater risk.
It is much better, to my mind, to say that yes, some kids want sex with adults, and are capable of making that decision. However, we must try to help them understand why this might work out badly for them. We cannot place all of the responsibility of a child's actions on the adult, because this disenfranchises the child.
This is a hugely unpopular view, I know, but to say the adult is the only party capable of making a sensible decision in a case of abuse is to risk missing a chance to tell kids to make sensible decisions. Don't go into the room with him - if it's just the two of you, and he's already been paying you compliments, chances are he wants to get in your pants. Educate kids so that they can keep themselves out of trouble. But don't take all responsibility away from them, because that will make them disrespect and ignore you, and your opinion, and that's the last thing you want...